Hattie Big Sky by Kirby Larson

Obviously, beware of spoilers. And stuff.

Hattie Inez Brooks is a young girl of sixteen growing up during World War I. Orphaned very early in life, Hattie can't remember her parents. She has spent her childhood being bounced from relative to relative - never wanted and never staying for long. She is living with her Aunt Ivy and Uncle Holt, who are actually rather distant cousins, and is just about to be loaned out for work to a boarding house when she receives a letter from Vida, Montana.

The letter is from her Uncle Chester - a man she didn't even know existed. He reportedly never sent for her because he was, by his own description, a "scoundrel." But what he did do for her endeared him to Hattie regardless. The letter he sent to her was his will. He had registered a homestead claim in Montana that he had yet to prove up on, and he left it to Hattie, his last living relative, so she could have a home of her own.

Hattie immediately sets out for Montana with her cat Mr. Whiskers, her heart full of dreams. No longer will she have to be unwanted Hattie Here-and-There. On the prairie she can make a place for herself in the world, a place where she can finally belong.

And that is truly what Hattie Big Sky is about. It's a coming of age story where a sixteen-year-old girl breaks her back farming a homestead claim, finding herself, a family, and the strength to withstand anything life throws at her in the process. It is also about equality, prejudice, standing up for what's right, and being a good person.

I checked Hattie Big Sky out of my local library after hearing it was a pretty fantastic book. And it won the Newbery Honor Medal, so I had some expectations of it. Most of those expectations were beyond met.

Hattie is everything you want in a female protagonist. She accepts help from others, and isn't afraid to admit that she has no idea what she's doing. But she works hard, learns fast, and not only takes care of herself, but her neighbors the Muellers as well. She forges friendships, stands strong against the so-called "Liberty League" that makes life hard for Americans of German heritage and questionable patriotism, and is independent and smart. There seems to be no incident that she can't bring herself back from.

And I love Hattie's story. I really do. It shows young girls that they can survive anything, that they can find a home anywhere, as long as they believe in themselves. And I don't mean in some starry-eyed way, where anything you imagine can come true. I mean believe in you - who you are as a person, the endurance of your body and your spirit, and your strength. Believe that you have what it takes to make it through, and you will. Love yourself, and love will find you.

There are, of course, some problems I had with Hattie Big Sky. She found her true family in the Muellers - her home is with them. Why is she going off to meet up with Charlie, her love interest? I love Hattie, and everything she stands for. So why does the author have to imply at the end that Hattie will finally find her true home with Charlie in Seattle? Certainly she's allowed to have her romance, but she found her family with Karl and Perilee and their children. She loved them, and actively thought of them as her blood. She found what she had always been looking for - a place to belong, and people to love her. So why didn't she go with them? When you find people you love, you fight to keep them. So why didn't she make plans to be with them? It's completely confusing.

Another problem I had with the book is that not much good ever seems to happen to Hattie. Yes, the book is supposed to be about her standing up through hardship. But in the end, she's left with nothing but herself and a ticket to Seattle. She even has to leave Mr. Whiskers behind. She loses the claim to that asshole rancher, the Muellers move, and she has so much debt at the general store from trying to prove up that she has to stay behind - even though she now has no home - and work it off. When is anything good going to happen to her? Sure, she found inner strength and fortitude and peace. But a soul can't survive on that alone. A little happiness is not uncalled for. It is necessary.

The issues I have with this book are minimal, really. I loved it. It was well written, and the history of the period was evident in the writing. I found it especially interesting that the author based if off of one of her ancestors. I would've liked to meet that lady.

There is a sequel to this book, Hattie Ever After. But I probably won't ever read it, as the description sounds so very different in tone, setting, and character than the first. And I think a sequel is unnecessary. This book stands tall and strong, just like Hattie, all on its own.

I give it four out of five stars.

I've Got Your Number by Sophie Kinsella

I can hear you all now. "Wow, Danielle! You're actually alive."

Indeed, I am. Sorry to disappoint.

Anyway, here's the book we're talking about today.

I normally always finish a book. Even if it didn't thrill me, even if it was a little long, there are few books I get so bored or irritated with that I quit before making it the whole way through.

This was one of those books.

Oy.

This was a piece. Of. Work.

The reason I got this book out of the library was because I'd previously seen the Shopaholic movie. I've never read the books, but the movie was a good time and I liked it. And I enjoy a good Chick Lit novel every now and then. So I figured this book would be a nice light read that would maybe make me laugh.

I was soooooo wrong.

Let's start with the basics. The main character is named Poppy Wyatt. She's getting married in just about two weeks time. She's marrying Magnus Tavish, a handsome and wildly popular academic who frequently appears on television. Poppy's in her late twenties, is a successful physical therapist, and is financially stable.

Too bad she's a pathological liar and a spineless idiot.

Now in real life, I would probably like Poppy. I would probably even be friends with Poppy. She is sweet and thoughtful, and often funny. But because I am hearing her every thought and seeing her every action, I HATE HER. SHE DROVE. ME. CRAZYYYYYYY.

All right, people. Let's get cracking with the real issues.

Book Issue #1: Poppy's Spinelessness

Poppy lets everyone walk all over her wearing cleats and doesn't even notice. You might think, "Oh, surely you're kidding. She can't be that daft."

You're overestimating her.

She is constantly apologizing for things that aren't her fault. I HATE that. I hate it when anyone, but especially a woman, feels the need to apologize just for existing. But someone will insult Poppy, and she'll automatically apologize. For, I dunno - breathing, I guess. Poppy is also terrified of accidentally saying something that might offend someone. She often follows up statements with "Sorry!" or some other placation, just to be safe. This makes her personality so incredibly wishy-washy. There's nothing she's willing to say and back up. She's so timid in the face of what she sees as embarrassment that she'll do anything to make it go away, including take back or negate whatever she just said. The fact that she can hardly state one fact and hold firm on it shows an incredible weakness in character.

Now let's talk about the people she lets walk all over her!

Person 1: Lucinda, the wedding planner.

Lucinda is a BITCH.

Figured we'd just get that out of the way.

She is Poppy's wedding planner. Which means SHE works for POPPY. NOT the other way around. But Lucinda treats Poppy like dirt. She is constantly guilt-tripping her just because she's doing her freaking JOB. And because she guilt trips her so often, Poppy ends up apologizing profusely and offering to do most of Lucinda's work. It is also pretty obvious that Lucinda is making them get things they don't need for their wedding that are very expensive and is being very well compensated for her time. If I was paying someone out the ass for this job and they weren't doing it, you can bet your sweet butt I'd be firing them faster than you could blink. So it made me INCREDIBLY mad that Poppy not only took Lucinda's abuse when she is technically Lucinda's BOSS, but that she then offered to do Lucinda's job FOR her! HOW SPINELESS CAN YOU BE??

Person 2: Annalise, Poppy's "friend"

Annalise is also a BITCH.

Poppy seems to surround herself with bitches.

Annalise never has anything nice to say to Poppy. She isn't supportive, isn't caring, and isn't tactful. She tries to feel up Magnus RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. She is constantly resentful toward Poppy because Magnus chose her when Annalise is clearly the better-looking one and deserves him more.

Seriously, what a bitch. And a horrible friend, though Poppy somehow can't see it at all. She just lets Annalise's attempts to steal her fiance go right over her head. Ridiculous.

Person(s) 3: Magnus's Parents

Magnus's parents are JERKS. Wanda and Antony, which are their names, are also highfalutin academics. They treat Poppy like she is literal pond scum because she isn't on their level of intelligence. They don't offer to explain their scholarly jargon to her and constantly belittle her for JUST being a physical therapist. Um, that is a serious profession that requires four to six years of schooling. Poppy clearly went to college and has an education, so why are you treating her like a twelve-year-old that didn't care enough to study for your hardcore test consisting of EVERY SUBJECT ON EARTH?

It seems like there's nothing they don't know about. They even answer questions about anatomy on Jeopardy, and then look down on Poppy because she didn't say the answers faster than they did.

Seriously. What high-and-mighty assholes.

But Poppy doesn't say boo about how they treat her - not to Magnus, not to her friends, and certainly not to their faces. If I were her, I would've stormed out on them several times and stopped speaking with them entirely until they got an enormous attitude adjustment.

Book Issue #2: Poppy's Lies

Poppy's reaction in most situations is to lie. And not even to lie realistically - she usually creates absurd lies that later get her in trouble when she has to answer for them.

As someone who can barely tell a lie - like, I'm physically almost not capable of it - her constant lying drove me INSANE. I don't understand why, in most of these situations, she couldn't just tell the truth! Most of her lying was done in circumstances where people would ask her about a certain subject or topic. To avoid what she considered humiliation and to keep from looking stupid, she would lie and say she knew all about it, and of course she was an expert.

Many of her other lies were far more tangled and over complicated - like all of her plots to hide the fact that she's lost her engagement ring. But in these scenarios, I don't understand why it's so hard for her to admit that she just DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT SOMETHING. You can't know about everything in the world! Just admit that you haven't heard of it, and ask what they're talking about! WHY IS THAT SO HARD, YOU CRAZY, PATHOLOGICAL LIAR??

It really does bother me that she never seems to be capable of telling the truth. That makes most of her relations based on lies, and relationships based on lies are not real relationships. By constantly lying, she makes no real connections with anyone.

Book Issue #3: NO CHEMISTRY OR ROMANCE

I got about halfway through the book before I rage quit. And in that half, there was no chemistry between Poppy and either male lead. None. At all.

Magnus is pretty much only concerned about sex, from what I can tell. He tries to have sex with Poppy when he comes to pick her up from work one day, and when she rejects him, he says dejectedly, "What are we supposed to do instead?"

Really? Fucking really? You can't think of anything to do with your girlfriend except have sex with her? What a dick.

Magnus and Poppy have no romantic moments, and no real chemistry. And he doesn't seem overly concerned with her emotional or physical well-being, either. When she lies and claims she burned her hand to try and hide the fact that she lost her engagement ring, Magnus could not give any less of a fuck. He's just kind of like, "Oh nice bandage."

You don't even see much of the other love interest, Sam. And what you do see of him is a curt guy who also doesn't care very much about Poppy's problems and can't take his face out of his phone for long enough to even answer a question. He and Poppy also have no chemistry or romance.

I do appreciate how Poppy isn't so boy-crazy that she doesn't just talk about how hot they both are all the time. But still. She could really stand to interact with them more and actually show some affection for either of them.

Book Issue #4: Character Development

There are no real backstories for anyone. I mean - Poppy has a tragic past! Feel bad for her cause her parents died!

That's about it for her. Obviously you do get an idea of her character, but facts about her aren't really developed.

And who the hell is Sam, anyway? In the half of the book that I read, you know he's a very busy and important guy who works in a consulting firm and travels a lot for work. And he pretty much doesn't ever look up from his phone. He's also a bit of a jerk. But other than that, you know very little about him. Oh, and he refuses to go to the dentist, which annoys Poppy. And I personally find that kinda icky. I understand if you can't afford it because of insurance reasons, but if you have the proper insurance, there's really no excuse at all. Unless you're not into proper hygiene.

You also don't know much about Magnus's character besides the whole snooty academia attitude, because Poppy has SO FEW INTERACTIONS with him. I'm serious.

Book Issue #5: Poppy's Strange Sense of Privacy

Yet another thing that pisses me off about the awful Poppy is that she takes the trust Sam puts in her to forward all his emails and smashes it. She not only smashes it, she then puts all the little pieces through a wood chipper and dances on their sparkling remains.

I could maybe understand reading his emails. Other people are fascinating. Why do you think we have biographies and autobiographies? We want to know about each other's lives. But then she starts SENDING EMAILS WITHOUT HIS CONSENT. And not just some harmless emails, like to set him up a dentist appointment or something - which I'm pretty sure she also does. She volunteers him for a run and to deliver a coworker's birthday flowers. Then she sends out an email that could be misconstrued as sexually inappropriate and another company-wide one that will probably get him into ridiculous amounts of trouble. And to me, that's unacceptable and wrong. If she had made suggestions to him or bugged him until he told her how he wanted those emails answered and then responded accordingly, I would've been okay with that. But she wrote these emails without his knowledge or consent and without knowing the intricacies of his work environment.

That is just so stupid, I can't even handle it. It is so rude and awful and such an abuse of trust it's almost unfathomable.

All of today's gifs brought to you by The Room, probably the funniest bad movie ever made.

So, these are all my feelings about I've Got Your Number. I just couldn't finish it. It made me too god damned angry. I'm certainly willing to give Sophie Kinsella another try, but I really, really don't recommend reading this book.

That's how effing serious I am.

I give this book 1/5 stars.