The Gene Rift by J. Andersen

Hi, everybody!

Not dead, just incredibly busy with life, school, blah blah blah. Done making the usual excuses. I do enjoy writing about books, but this is a side project, and when I'm consumed with big picture things, I can't dedicate as much time to it.

*shrugs*

I am resurfacing to talk to you about The Gene Rift by J. Andersen, in case you were wondering. I'm sure the title didn't give it away.

And you may be thinking, "J. Andersen, J. Andersen...that sounds oddly familiar."

That's because I did a post about the first book in her Destiny by Design trilogy, The Breeding Tree. You can check that out in the archives of the blog, or you can get the Kindle book FREE for a limited time to catch up on what you missed! Check it out here: The Breeding Tree

The Gene Rift is a continuation of the story in The Breeding Tree, picking up where the cliffhanger ending dropped you. Katherine Dennard has successfully escaped the Institute with her infant son, but she had to leave her boyfriend Micah behind. Sure the Institute is putting him through all kinds of unspeakable torture because he aided in her flight, Kate is desperate to get Micah back.

Cue Saul.

Saul shows up at the first available opportunity, as he's been biding his time and waiting for Kate to emerge from the Hidden City. He has a deal for Kate. He'll give her Micah back, but she has to give him her son. Which just so happens to be his son as well, because he is the father.

*Record scratch*

I'm sorry, what? The bad guy is the protagonist's test tube baby daddy?

Yikes.

Yikes.

There's plot twist number one. The plot twists so many more times, in such great ways. The Destiny by Design series has pretty clear Dystopian/Sci-fi influences, but it stands on its own. It's a good, clean (if you're looking for that kind of thing) YA Dystopian read for a rainy day.

Or, I mean, a regular day, too. Really any day.

J. Andersen is a dear friend of mine (I do not show favoritism; I fully acknowledge her books aren't perfect. Sorry, J XD), so please go check out her entire series. The Breeding Tree is free for a limited time, so jump on it! That's a great book for zero dollars. And if you love it, you can keep on going. The last book in the trilogy, Legacy's Impact, will be out early next year.

Overall, I give The Gene Rift a strong 4/5 stars.

Something's Missing...

Recently, Best Friend #1 and I finished reading My Faire Lady by Laura Wettersten.

And can I just say, it's a great time. It's well-written, there is great character development, it's funny and fun, and it's set in a RENAISSANCE FAIRE. What more could you possibly ask for? 

So when BF #1 and I were done with it, satisfied and emotionally fulfilled, she wanted to go on a Ren Faire reading kick. But, as she pointed out: "There are no other books like it!"

All I could think when she told me that was, I'm sure there are. You just gotta dig real deep. 

Except...

There really aren't any books set at a Ren Faire. If there are, I couldn't find them.

That is totally baffling to me. Who wouldn't want to go to the Ren Faire?? You get to dress up in fun, beautiful clothes; buy awesome, hand-crafted, artisan stuff from cool little shops and stands; eat loads of great food; watch people shoot arrows and knock each other off horses. WHAT PART OF THIS DOESN'T SOUND AMAZING? HAVEN'T YOU PEOPLE EVER SEEN A Knight's Tale? IT'S PRETTY MUCH JUST LIKE THAT.

If you've never been to a Renaissance Faire, I really encourage you to go. They're great fun, and almost always family friendly. 

Now, writers: I have an assignment for you. Please, please, write more books set at a Renaissance Faire. It is such a fun, historic, educational atmosphere. Not to mention, often downright whimsical and magical. I want it. BF #1 wants it. The world wants it - they just don't know it yet. 

Utilize the power of the Ren Faire! Do as Rowena does in My Faire Lady, and drink "Ye Olde Koolaid." I genuinely look forward to reading what comes of it.

And if you do know of a book set in a Renaissance Faire that you'd like me to review, let me know! I'd love to find more (and would be happy to review them)!

J. Andersen Talks Family and Friends Becoming Characters

Hey everyone!

For those of you who don't already know, my super amazing friend J. Andersen just had a book launch for her second novel! Yaaaaay!

What? Who is J. Andersen? How dare you, sir! I challenge you to fisticuffs at dawn.

THIS is J. Andersen:

There’s not much to do growing up in a small town in Western NY, so J. Andersen wrote stories and won high school writing contests. But in college her writing was limited to term papers. While teaching middle school she began to read young adult books and got serious about writing. She now writes full time, volunteers at the town library, helps to run a School of the Arts at her church, and sings in the church band. She enjoys good coffee—read: home roasted by her husband—crafts, baking, and chasing after her children. You’ll rarely see J. without a book in her hands, and that’s the way she’d like to keep it.

J has been my friend for many years, and I have beta read most of her books (and helped edit a couple). I was very excited when she told me she had a deal for her latest project, The Breeding Tree.

Here's what you can expect from The Breeding Tree:

Is the opportunity to create the next generation of life a dream come true or a deadly nightmare?

When seventeen year old Katherine Dennard is selected to become a "Creation Specialist" in Sector 4, the opportunity sounds like a dream come true. But Kate soon discovers the darker side of her profession - the disposal of fetal organs and destruction of human life. It makes sense, really. In a society where disease and malformations don t exist, human perfection demands that no genetic "mutants" be allowed to live. For Sector 4, "survival of the fittest" is not just a theory - it's The Institute's main mission.

When Kate discovers that The Institute is using her DNA to create new life, her work gets personal. In order to save her unviable son, she'll have to trust Micah and his band of underground Natural Born Rebels. The problem is, if The Institute discovers her betrayal, the next body being disposed of could be hers.

That's awesome, right? Who doesn't love a killer dystopian novel? (Horrific pun five thousand percent intended.)

Here is what J had to say about inspiration for her characters in her newest novel:

One question I often receive is, “Do you put anyone you know in the books you write?”

For me, the answer is, yes and no. There are definitely elements of different people, but I have never copied an individual person closely. I have a friend who told me she did that for one of her stories and the person never recognized herself, so that makes me want to try it. So far, I stick to bits and pieces of people.

In The Breeding Tree, Gran has a gold tooth. This was taken from my grandfather, who had a gold tooth. I was close with my grandparents, so there’s always going to be an element of them in any grandparent I write. Gran is also a little snarky. My grandmother was too, although, I don’t think she ever intended to be. She just told it like it was. I can remember the day I showed her a picture of my wedding dress. She told me it wasn’t a really wedding dress because it didn’t have long sleeves. I still laugh at that.

Dr. Rosenberg’s name was stolen from my Aunt Penny. I take names of friends often. At least last names.

Jaxon’s way of joking is my brother Matt. Though, Jaxon is a high energy, always in-your-face kind of guy. My brother is more likely to disappear into his shop because he’s had enough socializing after about an hour. Matt also provided a few one-liners for Jaxon without knowing it.

I have another friend who keeps asking to be in a book. Even if it’s just a cameo. I haven’t yet done that. Maybe in the future. Until then, this is as close as you’re going to get, Bob Katilus.

I do have to explain about my mother. Every mother I’ve written so far has been a little on the grumpy, mean side. I need to clarify that this is NOT how my mother is. The mothers in my stories are definitely not fashioned after my own mother. She’s a wonderful, generous, Godly woman. But that kind of character just didn’t fit in with my story. 

I’m sure as I continue to write, more of my friends and family will make their way into my stories. You’ll just have to guess who is who.

Now, you may be saying to yourself as you stroke your imaginary beard/mustache/goatee, "Danielle, you've known J for years. Are you in one of her books?"

The answer is, yes. Yes I am.

I don't want to give too much away, but The Breeding Tree is only the first book of a trilogy that J. Andersen has already written. And she specifically asked for my permission to name a mad scientist after me in one of them.

A MAD SCIENTIST.

LIFE ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED.

So, in conclusion - buy all of J. Andersen's books because she is amazing. I mean, that's not the only reason why. But it's the best reason.

Really, though, The Breeding Tree is a fantastic read. I would recommend it to others regardless.

Please, check it out....of a library! And then buy it! Or just buy it!

Here is the link to buy The Breeding Tree on Amazon, as well as all the ways you can stalk dear J on social media:

THE BREEDING TREE on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1941103987/

Website: https://www.jandersenbooks.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jandersenbooks

Twitter: https://twitter.com/JVDLAndersen

Goodreads: https://goodreads.com/jvdlandersen

Instagram: https://instagram.com/jvdlandersen

Snapchat ID: jvdlandersen

If I Stay by Gayle Forman

Obviously there are going to be spoilers. It's pretty much impossible to give an excellent book review without spoilers.

I'm sure you've heard of this book by now, since it was made into a movie which came out over the summer last year. But here's a quick plot rundown for those who might not know.

Mia has a great life - loving family, loving boyfriend, and a great future ahead of her thanks to her mad cello skills. That life is completely altered one day when she and her family are in a horrific car crash. Trapped in limbo while her body lies empty in a coma, Mia has to decide whether to forsake her uncertain future and join her family in death, or embrace the pain of life and continue on.

I'm having mixed feelings about this one, which reminds me of how I felt after I read The Fault in our Stars by John Green. After I finished TFIOS, I felt like what I had just read was supposed to make me feel heart-wrenching grief and think profoundly about life. But what I found myself doing was just crying because all I got from the book was very dark vibes. I've ruminated on it more since and think better of it, but I'm still kind of on the fence about whether I really enjoyed it or not.

That's really a lot like how I'm feeling right now with this book. I had such high hopes for it. I wanted it to really get into the nitty gritty stuff - why is life worth living, especially when you've suffered horrific loss? How do you find the courage to live, to go on? What is worth staying for?

What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?

I found a lot of those questions were left unanswered. In fact, in the end, it is seemingly only her boyfriend Adam's love that brings Mia out of her coma. But the thing is, I barely see a connection between them at all. The book focuses more on her relationships with her best friend Kim and her parents than with Adam. I barely got a sense of who Adam was as a person. There was a lot of telling and no showing. I got that he was a nice guy prone to big gestures and he wasn't afraid to cry and he liked punk rock and was in a band and wore studded jeans and stuff. But frankly when the nurse says that only close family are allowed in to see Mia and Adam acts like she just ripped his heart out of his chest I was like, "What? I don't get it. Why is he acting like that? Did she say some kind of trigger word or something?" Because I didn't see he and Mia as being very close at all. The flashes you do see of their relationship are awkward and platonic. You know they love each other, but it's not really there.

There was also a bit too much focus on the past. I understand that the author wanted to expose the rawness of what Mia had just lost, to understand the depth of her love for her family. But there is no time spent dwelling on thoughts of the future. What will it be like to go on? What are her reasons to continue living? These are things not really discussed at all. Mia just gets more and more tired, losing her will to live until Adam wakes her with his love.

Frankly, I'm actually a little pissed off that romantic love was the only thing worth actually waking up for, not her friends or family staked out in the ICU, refusing to leave her. Romantic love is certainly not to be taken lightly or discarded, but it's just such an age-old cliche - the only thing that saves a girl's life is true love. Examples: Snow White. Sleeping Beauty. Princess Buttercup.

I could go on and on. I mean, this is the reason the ending to Frozen got so much attention - because yeah, Anna was saved by true love. But not ROMANTIC love - the love she had for her sister. Because familial love is just as valid and important as romantic love.

The final problem I have with this book is this: until she finds out Teddy is dead, Mia is emotionally detached from everything. I understand being in shock, but come on. She's trying to decide whether to live or die. Where are the fucking EMOTIONS?? Maybe if she was making some rational pros and cons list and trying to be neutral, I could forgive that. But she is trying to decide if her own life is worth pursuing. That involves a LOT of emotions! Fear, love, anger, more fear - even excitement or anticipation. As much as she reminisces and wonders, she never talks about her feelings. It's a bit ludicrous, honestly.

So, there it is. This book was well written, and there were some incredibly moving parts in it. The relationship Forman crafts between Mia and her family is beautiful and touching. Very specifically, I love the scene where Kim comes to talk to Mia while she's still in her coma. But there are so many things, so many pieces that just don't fall into place. So many points where it falls short of expectations.

I've been in a rut myself, and I was hoping this book had some answers. That it could tell me exactly what it was that made life worth living, that could give someone like Mia the courage to face the abysmal tragedy and move forward. And I didn't find anything remotely like that in these pages.

All in all, I give it 3 out of 5 stars.

When Life Brings You a Book, You Read It

I haven't exactly been in the best frame of mind lately.

Since I've graduated college, it's been difficult for me to find work. Forget about work in my field - I just mean work, period. It's been a year and some change since I've been out in the "real world" - because for those of you who didn't know, college is in a mythical dimension - and my inability to get a decent job when I have a four-year degree and $65,000 in debit is pretty rattling. On top of that, a couple months before I graduated I developed Anxiety. That's Anxiety the illness, not anxiety the feeling.

So let's do some math, shall we?

Danielle + newly-minted-and-still-not-fully-understood Anxiety + money problems + having to live at home + having almost no social life = A person who is afraid to do anything with themselves.

If you're like me at all when it comes to math, your instant response to addition symbols was, "Wait hold on I don't get it."

Okay, so here's a word version of that: My student loan payments are through the roof, but I barely have enough money to pay them, so I'm living at home. Living at home is making me miserable, and I miss having my friends nearby like they were in college. Sometimes my Anxiety is so bad that I doubt everything about myself. But if I want to advance in my field at all, I need to move to a metropolitan area like NYC or Chicago and pursue it. Yet I have no money to move, and don't know anyone in large cities to rely on if something terrible happens.

So I'm petrified with fear. Unwilling and unable to go back, but too afraid to take chances and move forward into the future.

I'm part of a YA book club at the library where I volunteer (shout out to Sinclairville Free Library!), and the book for this month is If I Stay by Gayle Forman. Yes, this is a very popular book and I'm a little late to the game in reading it. Bear with me.

Just upon hearing the premise, I couldn't help but think that this is a book that the universe drops in your lap. When you are desperate for answers or courage or sympathy, and suddenly you find a book that seems too good to be true - one that sounds like just what you need. Honestly the scenario goes a bit like this:

To me, it seems that this is a book about the courage to live. To face your mortality and pain and find the strength to somehow see that life is worth living anyway, and that you can do it. You can move forward and forge a life for yourself and everything will be all right - well, mostly.

And I need that right now.

Every book gives you something different. That's what I'm hoping this book will give me.

Now please excuse me while I blow through this novel. More later.

Hattie Big Sky by Kirby Larson

Obviously, beware of spoilers. And stuff.

Hattie Inez Brooks is a young girl of sixteen growing up during World War I. Orphaned very early in life, Hattie can't remember her parents. She has spent her childhood being bounced from relative to relative - never wanted and never staying for long. She is living with her Aunt Ivy and Uncle Holt, who are actually rather distant cousins, and is just about to be loaned out for work to a boarding house when she receives a letter from Vida, Montana.

The letter is from her Uncle Chester - a man she didn't even know existed. He reportedly never sent for her because he was, by his own description, a "scoundrel." But what he did do for her endeared him to Hattie regardless. The letter he sent to her was his will. He had registered a homestead claim in Montana that he had yet to prove up on, and he left it to Hattie, his last living relative, so she could have a home of her own.

Hattie immediately sets out for Montana with her cat Mr. Whiskers, her heart full of dreams. No longer will she have to be unwanted Hattie Here-and-There. On the prairie she can make a place for herself in the world, a place where she can finally belong.

And that is truly what Hattie Big Sky is about. It's a coming of age story where a sixteen-year-old girl breaks her back farming a homestead claim, finding herself, a family, and the strength to withstand anything life throws at her in the process. It is also about equality, prejudice, standing up for what's right, and being a good person.

I checked Hattie Big Sky out of my local library after hearing it was a pretty fantastic book. And it won the Newbery Honor Medal, so I had some expectations of it. Most of those expectations were beyond met.

Hattie is everything you want in a female protagonist. She accepts help from others, and isn't afraid to admit that she has no idea what she's doing. But she works hard, learns fast, and not only takes care of herself, but her neighbors the Muellers as well. She forges friendships, stands strong against the so-called "Liberty League" that makes life hard for Americans of German heritage and questionable patriotism, and is independent and smart. There seems to be no incident that she can't bring herself back from.

And I love Hattie's story. I really do. It shows young girls that they can survive anything, that they can find a home anywhere, as long as they believe in themselves. And I don't mean in some starry-eyed way, where anything you imagine can come true. I mean believe in you - who you are as a person, the endurance of your body and your spirit, and your strength. Believe that you have what it takes to make it through, and you will. Love yourself, and love will find you.

There are, of course, some problems I had with Hattie Big Sky. She found her true family in the Muellers - her home is with them. Why is she going off to meet up with Charlie, her love interest? I love Hattie, and everything she stands for. So why does the author have to imply at the end that Hattie will finally find her true home with Charlie in Seattle? Certainly she's allowed to have her romance, but she found her family with Karl and Perilee and their children. She loved them, and actively thought of them as her blood. She found what she had always been looking for - a place to belong, and people to love her. So why didn't she go with them? When you find people you love, you fight to keep them. So why didn't she make plans to be with them? It's completely confusing.

Another problem I had with the book is that not much good ever seems to happen to Hattie. Yes, the book is supposed to be about her standing up through hardship. But in the end, she's left with nothing but herself and a ticket to Seattle. She even has to leave Mr. Whiskers behind. She loses the claim to that asshole rancher, the Muellers move, and she has so much debt at the general store from trying to prove up that she has to stay behind - even though she now has no home - and work it off. When is anything good going to happen to her? Sure, she found inner strength and fortitude and peace. But a soul can't survive on that alone. A little happiness is not uncalled for. It is necessary.

The issues I have with this book are minimal, really. I loved it. It was well written, and the history of the period was evident in the writing. I found it especially interesting that the author based if off of one of her ancestors. I would've liked to meet that lady.

There is a sequel to this book, Hattie Ever After. But I probably won't ever read it, as the description sounds so very different in tone, setting, and character than the first. And I think a sequel is unnecessary. This book stands tall and strong, just like Hattie, all on its own.

I give it four out of five stars.

I've Got Your Number by Sophie Kinsella

I can hear you all now. "Wow, Danielle! You're actually alive."

Indeed, I am. Sorry to disappoint.

Anyway, here's the book we're talking about today.

I normally always finish a book. Even if it didn't thrill me, even if it was a little long, there are few books I get so bored or irritated with that I quit before making it the whole way through.

This was one of those books.

Oy.

This was a piece. Of. Work.

The reason I got this book out of the library was because I'd previously seen the Shopaholic movie. I've never read the books, but the movie was a good time and I liked it. And I enjoy a good Chick Lit novel every now and then. So I figured this book would be a nice light read that would maybe make me laugh.

I was soooooo wrong.

Let's start with the basics. The main character is named Poppy Wyatt. She's getting married in just about two weeks time. She's marrying Magnus Tavish, a handsome and wildly popular academic who frequently appears on television. Poppy's in her late twenties, is a successful physical therapist, and is financially stable.

Too bad she's a pathological liar and a spineless idiot.

Now in real life, I would probably like Poppy. I would probably even be friends with Poppy. She is sweet and thoughtful, and often funny. But because I am hearing her every thought and seeing her every action, I HATE HER. SHE DROVE. ME. CRAZYYYYYYY.

All right, people. Let's get cracking with the real issues.

Book Issue #1: Poppy's Spinelessness

Poppy lets everyone walk all over her wearing cleats and doesn't even notice. You might think, "Oh, surely you're kidding. She can't be that daft."

You're overestimating her.

She is constantly apologizing for things that aren't her fault. I HATE that. I hate it when anyone, but especially a woman, feels the need to apologize just for existing. But someone will insult Poppy, and she'll automatically apologize. For, I dunno - breathing, I guess. Poppy is also terrified of accidentally saying something that might offend someone. She often follows up statements with "Sorry!" or some other placation, just to be safe. This makes her personality so incredibly wishy-washy. There's nothing she's willing to say and back up. She's so timid in the face of what she sees as embarrassment that she'll do anything to make it go away, including take back or negate whatever she just said. The fact that she can hardly state one fact and hold firm on it shows an incredible weakness in character.

Now let's talk about the people she lets walk all over her!

Person 1: Lucinda, the wedding planner.

Lucinda is a BITCH.

Figured we'd just get that out of the way.

She is Poppy's wedding planner. Which means SHE works for POPPY. NOT the other way around. But Lucinda treats Poppy like dirt. She is constantly guilt-tripping her just because she's doing her freaking JOB. And because she guilt trips her so often, Poppy ends up apologizing profusely and offering to do most of Lucinda's work. It is also pretty obvious that Lucinda is making them get things they don't need for their wedding that are very expensive and is being very well compensated for her time. If I was paying someone out the ass for this job and they weren't doing it, you can bet your sweet butt I'd be firing them faster than you could blink. So it made me INCREDIBLY mad that Poppy not only took Lucinda's abuse when she is technically Lucinda's BOSS, but that she then offered to do Lucinda's job FOR her! HOW SPINELESS CAN YOU BE??

Person 2: Annalise, Poppy's "friend"

Annalise is also a BITCH.

Poppy seems to surround herself with bitches.

Annalise never has anything nice to say to Poppy. She isn't supportive, isn't caring, and isn't tactful. She tries to feel up Magnus RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. She is constantly resentful toward Poppy because Magnus chose her when Annalise is clearly the better-looking one and deserves him more.

Seriously, what a bitch. And a horrible friend, though Poppy somehow can't see it at all. She just lets Annalise's attempts to steal her fiance go right over her head. Ridiculous.

Person(s) 3: Magnus's Parents

Magnus's parents are JERKS. Wanda and Antony, which are their names, are also highfalutin academics. They treat Poppy like she is literal pond scum because she isn't on their level of intelligence. They don't offer to explain their scholarly jargon to her and constantly belittle her for JUST being a physical therapist. Um, that is a serious profession that requires four to six years of schooling. Poppy clearly went to college and has an education, so why are you treating her like a twelve-year-old that didn't care enough to study for your hardcore test consisting of EVERY SUBJECT ON EARTH?

It seems like there's nothing they don't know about. They even answer questions about anatomy on Jeopardy, and then look down on Poppy because she didn't say the answers faster than they did.

Seriously. What high-and-mighty assholes.

But Poppy doesn't say boo about how they treat her - not to Magnus, not to her friends, and certainly not to their faces. If I were her, I would've stormed out on them several times and stopped speaking with them entirely until they got an enormous attitude adjustment.

Book Issue #2: Poppy's Lies

Poppy's reaction in most situations is to lie. And not even to lie realistically - she usually creates absurd lies that later get her in trouble when she has to answer for them.

As someone who can barely tell a lie - like, I'm physically almost not capable of it - her constant lying drove me INSANE. I don't understand why, in most of these situations, she couldn't just tell the truth! Most of her lying was done in circumstances where people would ask her about a certain subject or topic. To avoid what she considered humiliation and to keep from looking stupid, she would lie and say she knew all about it, and of course she was an expert.

Many of her other lies were far more tangled and over complicated - like all of her plots to hide the fact that she's lost her engagement ring. But in these scenarios, I don't understand why it's so hard for her to admit that she just DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT SOMETHING. You can't know about everything in the world! Just admit that you haven't heard of it, and ask what they're talking about! WHY IS THAT SO HARD, YOU CRAZY, PATHOLOGICAL LIAR??

It really does bother me that she never seems to be capable of telling the truth. That makes most of her relations based on lies, and relationships based on lies are not real relationships. By constantly lying, she makes no real connections with anyone.

Book Issue #3: NO CHEMISTRY OR ROMANCE

I got about halfway through the book before I rage quit. And in that half, there was no chemistry between Poppy and either male lead. None. At all.

Magnus is pretty much only concerned about sex, from what I can tell. He tries to have sex with Poppy when he comes to pick her up from work one day, and when she rejects him, he says dejectedly, "What are we supposed to do instead?"

Really? Fucking really? You can't think of anything to do with your girlfriend except have sex with her? What a dick.

Magnus and Poppy have no romantic moments, and no real chemistry. And he doesn't seem overly concerned with her emotional or physical well-being, either. When she lies and claims she burned her hand to try and hide the fact that she lost her engagement ring, Magnus could not give any less of a fuck. He's just kind of like, "Oh nice bandage."

You don't even see much of the other love interest, Sam. And what you do see of him is a curt guy who also doesn't care very much about Poppy's problems and can't take his face out of his phone for long enough to even answer a question. He and Poppy also have no chemistry or romance.

I do appreciate how Poppy isn't so boy-crazy that she doesn't just talk about how hot they both are all the time. But still. She could really stand to interact with them more and actually show some affection for either of them.

Book Issue #4: Character Development

There are no real backstories for anyone. I mean - Poppy has a tragic past! Feel bad for her cause her parents died!

That's about it for her. Obviously you do get an idea of her character, but facts about her aren't really developed.

And who the hell is Sam, anyway? In the half of the book that I read, you know he's a very busy and important guy who works in a consulting firm and travels a lot for work. And he pretty much doesn't ever look up from his phone. He's also a bit of a jerk. But other than that, you know very little about him. Oh, and he refuses to go to the dentist, which annoys Poppy. And I personally find that kinda icky. I understand if you can't afford it because of insurance reasons, but if you have the proper insurance, there's really no excuse at all. Unless you're not into proper hygiene.

You also don't know much about Magnus's character besides the whole snooty academia attitude, because Poppy has SO FEW INTERACTIONS with him. I'm serious.

Book Issue #5: Poppy's Strange Sense of Privacy

Yet another thing that pisses me off about the awful Poppy is that she takes the trust Sam puts in her to forward all his emails and smashes it. She not only smashes it, she then puts all the little pieces through a wood chipper and dances on their sparkling remains.

I could maybe understand reading his emails. Other people are fascinating. Why do you think we have biographies and autobiographies? We want to know about each other's lives. But then she starts SENDING EMAILS WITHOUT HIS CONSENT. And not just some harmless emails, like to set him up a dentist appointment or something - which I'm pretty sure she also does. She volunteers him for a run and to deliver a coworker's birthday flowers. Then she sends out an email that could be misconstrued as sexually inappropriate and another company-wide one that will probably get him into ridiculous amounts of trouble. And to me, that's unacceptable and wrong. If she had made suggestions to him or bugged him until he told her how he wanted those emails answered and then responded accordingly, I would've been okay with that. But she wrote these emails without his knowledge or consent and without knowing the intricacies of his work environment.

That is just so stupid, I can't even handle it. It is so rude and awful and such an abuse of trust it's almost unfathomable.

All of today's gifs brought to you by The Room, probably the funniest bad movie ever made.

So, these are all my feelings about I've Got Your Number. I just couldn't finish it. It made me too god damned angry. I'm certainly willing to give Sophie Kinsella another try, but I really, really don't recommend reading this book.

That's how effing serious I am.

I give this book 1/5 stars.